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Grief No Longer Has a Hold on You

We invite Cathi Black, of FCC Fort Mill to share her recent social media post regarding her pushing through her grief and coming out on the other side, following the passing of her daughter Debbie in 2017.

Cathi Black and her daughter, Debbie Smith, 33 taken in Jan. shortly before Debbie met Jesus Feb. 13, 2017.

This is a little long, but I pray it goes to the people that need to hear that they are not alone.


GRIEF, it's real! You can grieve over the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, a relationship, it's loss. Grief is scary because it's a place in our hearts that we don't want to go. Grief is just one way that people go into deep depression and many can't find their way out.


When my daughter passed away I didn't want to talk with anyone, see anyone, I didn't want to go out of my house for anything. I had to fight through those feelings of pain and anguish and not allow those feelings that I had deep in my heart to control me. Yes, there were times I gave in to those feelings and didn't go anywhere. I dove deep into my work for a while just to get my mind off the loss and brokenness I was feeling, but I didn't stay there. It was a dangerous time for me.


There were days I told God I wanted to go and be with my daughter in heaven. I didn't want to live anymore.

At first I tried to worship God and all I could do was say "I surrender" with my hands raised and tears flowing down my face. My heart ached too much to speak, even to God. As I kept it up, I started to journal my feelings, my heart pain, my anger, and again I raised my hands up to God and tried to worship Him. For quite a while, all I could do was cry with my hands raised and just surrender because I was overwhelmed. The more time I spent with God through His Word, allowing it to comfort me, I was able to start sharing my heart.


I shared the deepest part of my heart and pain with my husband and one very close friend. Sure, others knew a little about the pain I was suffering. But God showed me who I could trust with those feelings that would not just say. "Well, you know she's in a better place" and "you know she's no longer suffering." Yes, I knew all this but I didn't want to hear it. For some reason that didn't help at all. It's almost like them saying it's time to get over it. You shouldn't grieve this long. You're supposed to be an example because you're a minister, etc. Well guys, this minister is human and went through the hardest time of my life. There is NO time on grief! Everyone will grieve differently and that's just a fact.


As time passed, I was able to leave my home because I have a relationship with Jesus. He is my rock. God has restored to me the joy of my salvation. I can breathe again. Sure, I have moments of grief on occasion but for the most part I am able to live again and go on with my life in hopes to be able to help others that are hurting.


If you, or someone you know is grieving for a loved one, or any type of grief, please feel free to reach out to a trusted friend or Pastor, but more than that, reach out to a God that knows the pain you are in. His Holy Spirit is there to comfort you, love you, and guide you through the pain so you will be able to help others that hurt. If you have never met my God...the Lord Jesus Christ, let me introduce you to Him. HE is not a "religion" but you can have a real live relationship with Him. That is the only way I was able to get to the other side. He is good!




To find out more about having a relationship with Jesus, or to reach Cathi, please feel free to contact us.

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